Baby usually wakes up once at night and occasionally able to sleep through the night. Tried the new swaddle as he often has startle reflex, which is one of my favourite products for newborns. He was able to sleep soundly from 12.30am to 7am this morning. The longest stretch so far. 😄 it’s been two months but I still question myself “how did I give birth to him?” every time I look at him.
This month is the real test of parenthood as my confinement nanny has left and we have no family members or helpers to assist.
At 2 months old, baby is getting more fussy at night but able to sleep well in the day. Thus I’m able to do quite a lot of work in the day. But the night time is exhausting.
I am still trying different ways to coax him and has not yet surrender to using pacifier. Just established a bed time routine for him.
Bath➡️change diapers ➡️ massage ➡️feed ➡️sing lullaby and say goodnight ➡️ baby wear ➡️ swaddle
We also tried dream feeding him to extend his sleeping hours.
So what did baby do?
Baby had his first hair cut! It is a tradition for the Chinese to cut baby’s hair after 1 month. I do not know the exact reason but remember my mum saying that the new grown hair after shaving will be more voluminous.
No harm cutting his hair if it makes the elderly happier. 🙂
It wasn’t too bad. Baby was crying because he was hungry, not due to the haircut. Haha.
Well, this really made me feel super guilty as a mum for not taking good care of him and allowing this to happen. It is hard not to self-blame even though accidents happen.
He rolled off the bed at 11.30am but was able to stop crying soon after I fed him. I googled for all the different symptoms to watch out for, while booking a same day appointment to see the PD. I just needed to have a doctor to check for assurance.
Baby wriggled half the sofa! I thought he gave up moving when he stopped but turns out he was just taking a rest and eventually reached the finishing line (end of sofa)! Mama is so proud of you!
He loves to look at himself in the mirror, loves to “talk” to people and also loves going out of the house.
For Mama,
1. I breastfeed him for two months. Supply is not increasing but just enough to feed him. At least no need to top up formula that much.
2. I’ve taken care of him by myself for one month. And not gone crazy yet.
3. I hid behind walls and tip toe to check if baby is awake. I’m very scared of him waking up at night.
4. Unlike many mums who cried when they deliver, he wasn’t a love at first sight for me. But he is now my love at every sight. ❤️😍
The first two weeks were in a haze. All I could remember was focusing on healing and resting while receiving lots of gifts and visiting by friends.
In the first two weeks, I was so depressed. I did not have enough breastmilk for baby, but baby was constantly hungry and was such a huge drinker (90ml when discharged from hospital)! By 1.5 week, he was already on 120ml.
I was also very upset with my entire body. The painful nipples, the still preggy looking tummy, the painful episiotomy wound (I can’t even sit properly to breastfeed!) and the swollen feet from water retention. My whole body was just in a mess! Every latching session was so painful that I felt like crying but I told myself to stay strong for my baby. One crying baby in the house is enough…
So I only started recording this diary after 2 weeks…
1 . Sleep in the same position
He always sleeps with his fists clenched like in defence mode. He gets startled easily in his sleep, and sometimes cries as if he had nightmare. He doesn’t like to be swaddled and will wriggle his arms out, hence nanny recommended the beansprout pillow to put on his tummy.
2. First babble
At 15 days old, Ashton babbled “ah bu bu ha” after breastfeeding. Is this considered his first babble? What are you trying to tell mummy?
3. Outgrow
Outgrow his newborn romper at 20 days old! Thank goodness I only bought one newborn size clothes and the rest are 0-3 months. Indeed, babies grow really fast and they don’t really need many clothings! I only bought like 9 pieces? The rest are hand-me-down. That said, since I wash his clothes every alternate day, 9 pieces are more than enough to last for few months! Glad I only spent a few dollars on clothes.
4. Umbilical cord dropped
Also at 20 days old, his umbilical cord dropped. The cord that connected us physically for 10 months. Oh I really miss those pregnancy days…
5. First tummy time
At 21 days old, he had his first tummy time! Look how high he can lift his neck! Mummy is so proud of you! (even though it is a small thing…)
6. First wriggle
At 27 days old, he started wriggling like a worm and almost hit the cot. Seems like wriggling is the precursor of crawling!
7. Likes to poop
Especially after bathing haha!
Busy resting and doing her confinement. Finally, I got my appetite back! Had been puking in the first trimester and in the third trimester, baby grew so big that I had breathing difficulties and no stomach space.
Confinement nanny has just left and life was a bit disastrous initially. She is really god sent and I don’t know why but feel super comfortable with her. Maybe this is 缘分 (fate). It’s strange how much I’m missing her not only because she has been a great help but because I miss her “你要多多休息哦, 不要吹风扇，快点快点洗澡” (please rest more, don’t on the fan and take quick showers)。She made me feel like I still have a mum.
Anyway, I think humans are evolved to adapt to new environment/lifestyle. I think I’m slowly adjusting to motherhood/ housewife life.
Yesterday managed to wash laundry twice, brought baby out to dad’s place alone, chit chat with dad, showed baby my mum’s photo, pack my old room, change bedsheet, grocery shop, cook dinner and bathe baby. Insert ten times of breastfeed, pump & coax baby in between. And today managed to cook lunch, wash more laundry and clean up the kitchen
Yes, I managed to do housework, prepare meals for family and look after baby all by myself. I started to give myself little challenges too. Gotta up my level before I return to work right?
Please email me if you want her contact details.
At around 36 weeks, my gynae gave the option to have induction at 38 weeks as he said that my cervix was favourable (3 cm dilated) and my baby is at a healthy weight of about 3 kg. He was worried that my petite frame would not be able to deliver naturally if my baby grows bigger, and that placenta may be old.
I am not keen in induction as I really wanted my childbirth to be as natural as possible. I believe that God created a woman’s body in such a way that we can deliver babies naturally. And we women have been doing that since the start of mankind right? I also did not want epidural as I am inspired by my mother who gave birth naturally without any painkillers at the age of 42.
I waited and waited (with many pineapples and exercises) but there was no contractions so we decided to induce exactly at week 40. I was afraid the baby would be too big if I wait any longer, and also afraid that he might eat his own meconium.
Looking back, I’m still not sure if it was the best decision though I am thankful that the baby is delivered safely.
Day of Delivery
We went to the hospital in the morning and the first thing the nurse did was to clear my bowel. She squirted some liquid into my rectum. It wasn’t painful but very uncomfortable. I felt every dignity as a human being was gone as I was stripped naked and laid on the bed, waiting to be butchered. Before I can hid myself in embarrassment from being naked, she checked on my cervix dilation which was super painful.
Everything happened so quickly.
Next, she strapped me with contractions and baby heartbeat monitor. I cannot remember whether my waterbag was broken first or the nurse inserted IV drip to kick start the contraction.
The contractions came in quickly though I felt no pain initially. I saw the monitor showing peaks that represent contractions but I could still function normally (talk to my husband, watch TV, whatsapp etc). I hate the IV drip though, as it made me immobile. But all is good, I have about 1 cm dilation every hour.
After an hour of drip, the contractions were 3 min apart and last about 1 min each time. The pain was still bearable though I started sniffling my lavender essential oil.
After 3 hours, the contractions intensified very quickly and I thought I was ready for birth. I asked for laughing gas and kept sniffling the essential oil like a drug addict. The contractions last about 1 min and about 1.5 min apart. I asked the nurse to check for my dilation a few times but she was impatient and said that she was busy. She also told me to stop screaming so loudly and that I should just take an epidural like the others. My husband and I were really furious with her response though I was too exhausted and in so much pain to do anything. Little did I know that this is the start of my poor experience with Mt Alvernia.
After 4 hours, I was 7cm dilated and the pain was really unbearable. My whole body felt weak and shivering. My husband could no longer read his book as he was busy holding the laughing gas or essential oil for me (contractions came every 30 seconds!). Some say the pain is 1000 times of menses cramp. I did not experience menses cramp so all I can say is it was worse than my appendicitis pain. I could still walk to hospital by myself with the appendicitis pain but for this 8cm contractions? My whole body was trembling while I gripped the hospital bed so tightly that I thought it would break.
After 6 hours, contractions were still stuck at 8 cm and I was trembling so much that I thought I would faint from exhaustion. My husband told me just get epidural as the pain would be much worse later on and I succumb to it.
The anesthetist came within 30 minutes and when he came I thought I saw God! In my mind I was like “save me from this suffering!”.
The whole epidural procedure was very fast and I managed to control my shivering even at 8 cm contractions. The effect was very fast and I could not feel any pain at all! I felt foolish not taking epidural earlier! The side effects came fast too, my body was cold and trembling.
Soon after the epidural, the fetal heart beat dropped to 70 (normal baby heartbeat is about 150). Suddenly the gynae said “bring me the oxygen mask.” I inhaled very deeply, recalling what I learnt in yoga classes. Thankfully, the heartbeat was up in a minute.
After 7 hours, the gynae said I can push now! Since I couldn’t feel any contractions, I had to listen to the nurse’s command to push.
I used all my strength to push, but the baby seems to be stuck. Once again, my gynae decisively asked for vacuum (which he later told me that he was thinking between vacuum or c-section).
The nurse switched on the vacuum before it was placed properly which made my gynae flared at her as it could be dangerous for the baby. I was really pissed but I had no energy to do anything. That’s the second poor experience.
With the vacuum, it took about 3-5 pushes and viola! The baby was out!
I was so exhausted by now and forgot to ask for skin to skin contact. The nurses did not suggest skin to skin and I believe this could be the reason why my supply was low initially. That’s the third poor experience.
Baby’s weight was unexpectedly high at 3.82kg. I could still remember the gynae saying “if I knew he is so heavy, definitely a caesarean for you.”
The sewing was quite long as the episiotomy wound is big. Before the sewing was done, another nurse came in and told us that the baby is now in NICU as his cries did not sound normal and also because I have GBS. I thought his cries were normal when he was in the delivery ward? That’s the fourth poor experience.
And yes there’s a fifth poor experience. The nurse insisted on taking my blood immediately so that she can quickly send in the cord blood to SCBB the same day. She poked freaking 3 times but no blood was drawn out. She apologised briefly and said I probably lost too much blood from the delivery and will try again the next ay.
My thoughts on induction and epidural?
I think both my body and baby were not ready for birth yet. The contractions were too fast too furious due to the induction and I could not move around to reduce the pain due to the IV drip. I’m not sure if it is because my baby is heavy or is it because he is not ready and hence required the vacuum.
The good thing is, since he is so heavy, I might not be able to deliver vaginally if I had waited any longer.
I might not be able to deliver vaginally if I did not have epidural as the baby is so big and my body is so petite.
Vaginal or caesarean, I think the most important thing is for both mother and baby to be safe. And I’m very thankful that I have that.
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