Category: Reflections

Some researchers claimed that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. I’m not sure if it is really 21 days but this covid-19 lockdown is indeed the best opportunity for us to reflect on our lives, learn new skills (if you are the lucky ones who can work from home and do not need to look after crying babies/ toddlers) or form new healthy habits.

Well for me, I have to manage my toddler, pregnancy, full-time job and housework. There were days where I was guilty of spamming TV cartoons and nursery rhymes just so the husband and I can do our work especially when we have live conferences. 

That said, I am not complaining at all. In fact I love spending time at home with my son. Exhausting but yet rewarding. I don’t know if I ever have another chance to spend time with him 24/7 so I am cherishing every moment. 

Although I am not the lucky ones who have the time to learn a new skill, this lockdown has taught me 3 valuable lessons in life.

1. We don’t really need all the junks in our lives

Staying at home is the best time to declutter. Using small pockets of time, I KonMari-ed many clothes, accessories, shoes, books, CDs and what not. Throwing those in excellent condition seems to be very wasteful and thus I listed them on Carousell while packing the rest and hopefully can do a flea market when this covid-19 is gone. 

Only SOME of the accessories that I KonMari-ed. Most of them are brand new items!

It is not easy to let go of some items, especially when they have been a part of you. I was a big fan of Ayumi Hamasaki during my teenage years but decided to make space for the next chapter of my life (my two sons). I spent a lot of my pocket money collecting everything that has Ayumi on it, from her official CDs, DVDs to fashion magazines and keychains. I don’t regret buying them as they were fond memories and am thankful that her music provided me with strength during my lost teenage years. It was hard to say goodbye to her items but saying “thank you” to them in the kon-marie way helps a lot.

I felt so good after the declutter, as if I have just cleansed my mind and soul. 

2. Save up for every day, not just for rainy days

Many people are reviewing their spending habits during this lockdown as they are faced with job uncertainties and potential economic crisis. Yet, there is another group of people who are very bored at home and end up spending more money online.

I am in a few mummies group chat and am appalled by the frequency of online shopping some mums are having. Of course it is perfectly fine to have some retail therapy but on a daily basis? I gotta think twice, especially if the shopping expenses are eating into my savings and investments.

Many mums are also not investment savvy. They do not invest in shares, bonds or commodities, probably only covering themselves with basic insurance and normal bank savings accounts.

Which brings me to my first point, do we really need so many tangible items in our lives? My 1 year overseas exchange stint has taught me that I can live with just 2 luggages. Do I really need to buy so many toys and books for my sons? Would that give them a head start in life? Would that bring more happiness for them in future?

I have reached a conclusion that the best gifts I can give to my children are:

• Quality time together
• Secured financial life 
• Healthy and active parents

While I do not want my sons to grow up in a pampered and affluent lifestyle, I would not want them to be a sandwich generation like I am. Growing up, it wasn’t easy to self-sponsor my own university fees and sourcing for various scholarships to sponsor my overseas exchange. I also face with elderly parent with no retirement savings and poor health. Thus, I am determined to be financially independent since young. I set myself a goal to accumulate SGD 100,000 before I turned 30.

It wasn’t easy and I made mistakes. I was once a spendthrift and bought many unnecessary stuff (which led to the massive KonMari). Yet, I am thankful that I was disciplined in my savings and managed to reach my goal before 27 (I did not strike the lottery and am not a high flyer). I will probably write a post on how I achieved that, if anyone is interested.

After the birth of my first son, I have religiously saved and invested his ang baos (cash gifts) and have since accumulated SGD20,000 during these 20 months. This is not a huge amount but with continued effort and the magic compound interest effect, I think this would suffice for his tertiary education fees.

Saving up during normal days also allowed me to have the ability to invest in good and under valued companies during this economic downturn. It will be too late to start saving only during tough times!

3. Know what you can control

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. 

I have many friends who are complaining about the lockdown and how working from home is so difficult. The conversations are often filled with complains and negativity. Such thinking is so toxic and draining. We could have better spent our time making positive actions and outcomes.

In this lockdown, I have learnt to complain less and appreciate the finer things in life. This can be achieved if we know what we cannot control and hence focus on areas where we have control in. For example, we cannot control when the covid-19 will be gone or when the lockdown will be lifted. But we can definitely control our attitude towards these unprecedented events. A positive attitude will eventually lead to positive actions and outcomes.

Let’s appreciate how this lockdown enables us to have more time for self and family, be thankful if we have a roof above our head and grateful if we are still healthy and alive. 

Take care and stay safe everyone! 🙂